Rudy's Can't Fail Cafe in Emeryville, California

Everyone Oakland knows about Rudy's (or at least sorta knows about it).

Green Day bassist Mike Dirnt opened the original in Emeryville in 2002 and there's now a new one in downtown Oakland. Based on the two facts that they're one of the very few eateries open around here until 1AM and (note italics AND bold) that they carry vegan doughnuts, you really, really want to like this place (oh, and they have amazing Guinness floats!).



The fries came with a very poorly made grilled cheese (a whole other story), and were pretty much what you'd expect from a sort-of diner. Most likely frozen, almost too crispy, and slightly orange. Pretty average, pretty much what you'd expect from a restaurant like this, but a whole lot better than the "grilled cheese," which was a few slices of cold, unmelted cheese on bread that had marks on it from a panini press.

PS: This place does have a special place in my heart in spite of the poor quality of fries. I love going to the Emeryville location for a vegan doughnut and glass of soymilk. And the waitresses are sassy.

PSS: Still really need to take notes on the quality of frying oil (see previous post).

+++

Price: $6.95 with a poorly made grilled cheese, $3.25 on their own

Portion Size: Medium
Texture: Good chew factor, but a tad bit overcooked/too crunchy on the outside
Greasiness Level: 3 out of 5 (a bit greasy)
Seasoning:Very underseasoned
Fried in: Some sort of vegetable oil

Condiments: Salt, pepper, ketchup


Overall Quality of French Fries: Pre-cut and frozen. 5.00

Still figuring it out...

The whole "old" frying oil versus "new" frying oil I've been reading about in a book I mentioned in a previous post, How To Read a French Fry. I just have to take some time to take some notes before I eat my next french fry. But sometimes you just want to eat the fries, without actually thinking about the science behind them. This also takes patience. And for me, hunger + french fry does not = patience. We'll see about next time...

T.G.I. Friday's at Market Fair, Princeton, NJ

These fries are not good. They are sort of what you'd expect from a chain restaurant. Frozen pre-cut fries, deep fried until sort of tough on the inside and hardish on the outside. Very underseasoned, and though served hot, the "chew" of the fries could not be disguised even with condiments. Now as you may know, I like a good chew on a fry. But I don't want it to be so chewy that it's bordering on bubblegum.


I hate to be so harsh on a french fry, because after all the fry itself is not to blame. Ultimately, however, a fry is only as good as its maker, and sometimes the maker is not good indeed.

+++

Price:$10.00 (I don't actually remember, but I think it was close to this--I forgot to jot down the price!),
came with a vegetarian cheese burger

Portion Size: Small
Texture: Chewy. Overcooked.
Greasiness Level: 3 out of 5 (a bit greasy)
Seasoning:Very underseasoned
Fried in: Some sort of vegetable oil

Condiments: Salt, pepper, ketchup

Overall Quality of French Fries: Pre-cut and frozen. 4.00

Kensington Circus Pub in Kensington, CA

This quaint little place in the tiny town of Kensington fancies itself a British Pub. I love the atmosphere, even in spite of the spotty service and the fact that it was freezing on a cold night (the waiter was wearing shorts and short-sleeve polo shirt, while I had a skullcap on. Sometimes I just don't even bother to ask).

(I know this photo isn't doing anyone any favors. Blame poor light and a phone camera.)

I ordered the Fish and Chips, and while I'll give the fish a very low "decent" grade (absolutely bland, but yet still comforting, as I'd been craving fish and chips for months now), the fries were, I hate to say it, pretty darn bad. Hard on the outside, and while soft of the inside, I just couldn't get over the fact that they tasted like they'd come out of the freezer, and were extremely underseasoned. In spite of this, and as is usually the case, I ate them all (I took leftovers home, and it did take me 2 days, but I still ate them all).

Note: Props for being a cozy place that's kid-friendly (not that I have kids, but it might be something that you might want to know)

+++

Price:$11.00 for both the Fish and Chips (I ordered the 2-fish small portion; there is a 4-fish large portion that is $14.00)

Portion Size: Medium
Texture: A tad hard on outside, soft on inside. A bit overcooked.

Greasiness Level: 3 out of 5 (a bit greasy)
Seasoning:Very underseasoned
Fried in: Some sort of vegetable oil

Condiments: Salt, pepper, ketchup, vinegar

Overall Quality of French Fries: Pre-cut and frozen. 5.00 Verging on Bad

How to Read a French Fry

My friend Brad alerted me to the existence of a certain book by Russ Parsons titled, How to Read a French Fry: And Other Stories of Intriguing Kitchen Science, which apparently tells you how to well, read a french fry (and other stories). I bought this book for myself in order be eligible for free Amazon shipping (meanies), and after reading it will hopefully have a better understanding of the fries I eat. Here's to science and food!

Hudson Diner in the West Village, NY

The Hudson Diner happened to be open at 11:15 PM (if you've ever been in that area on Hudson Street in the freezing cold, you know that your dining options are limited for a reasonably-priced meal). And the sign says, "Breakfast * Lunch* Dinner * Ice Cream" for goodness sake!
What's not to like?


(See that second plate of fries? They came with my friend's order of Eggs Benedict.
Please don't ask why.)


Well, I must say that the fries were pretty subpar. Most likely frozen, but they did arrive screamingly hot, which I wholeheartedly appreciated. Sort of a harder-than-usual mealy on the inside, crispy on the outside, they were pretty much what I expected. They tasted sort of what I imagine styrofoam to taste like, totally bland. Nevertheless…

Bonus points: My friend and I were the only ones there the Sunday night after Christmas, and they stayed open for us until close to midnight, even though they were scheduled to close shop at 11:30. I'd go back again, not for the fries, but for the friendly staff and comfort of a diner in the middle of New York Nowhere.

+++

Price: $9.10, came with my Garden Burger (also not good, but that's another story)
Portion Size: Small
Texture: Crispy on outside, mealy on the inside

Greasiness Level: 3 out of 5 (a bit greasy)
Seasoning: Completely underseasoned
Fried in: Some salt of vegetable oil

Condiments: ketchup, mustard, salt, pepper

Overall Quality of French Fries: 3.5 out of 10.

Pacific Coast Brewing Company in Oakland, CA

Please don't even get me started on the disgusting eggplant "sandwich" topped with congealed paremesan cheese that I ordered at the Pacific Coast Brewing Company (the fries came with it. Not sure how much fries are if they are just ordered as a side, it doesn't say on their menu). I have very vivid memories of that eggplant sandwich. 45 percent congealed, shiny cheese, 45 percent bread, and the rest assorted vegetables. To be eaten with a steak knife and a fork.

(*Note congealed atrocity in background)

As for the fries, I cereally didn't think they were so bad. Sure they were most likely frozen, and were over-cooked. And they glistened with an orange hue. But I've had waaaaay worse. My french-fry partner-in-crime for the day deemed them absolutely horrifying. I give them a steady 5.5, if only because they could be easily disguised with salt, pepper, and an occasional dip in ketchup. Not too shabby for a fluorescent orange fry. I realize this rating will baffle some of you, but again, I have had way worse, and for me these were tolerable!

*I should mention that the weirdness of this experience--the cheese, the sandwich, did I mention the cheese, and the poor wait service--was amplified by the fact that the restaurant was filled with people on lunch break from a "Jewelry Convention" going on down the street, and that 99 percent of the diners were older white people (mostly women, and a few husbands who probably wanted to cry). I did see a couple Asian ladies who are apparently into beads and stuff there too. Even weirder, though, was when my companion and I were asked if we were "in town for the Jewelry Convention," which completely baffled me, seeing as I don't perceive either of us as putting out any bead-making vibes.

+++

Price: $11.00 includes gross congealed sandwich

Portion Size: Medium
Texture: A tad hard on outside, soft on inside. A bit overcooked.

Greasiness Level: 3 out of 5 (a bit greasy)
Seasoning: Underseasoned!
Fried in: Some sort of vegetable oil

Condiments: Salt, pepper, mustard, ketchup

Overall Quality of French Fries: 5.5 out of 10.