Cafeteria, NYC

Ahh, NY, the city where for four straight years I survived on French Fries, Vente Frappucinos, Snickers Bars and the occasional burrito and bagel alone (sometimes supplemented with chocolate chip pancakes from Bliss in Williamsburg and often supplemented with Brioche with Sugar and Croissants from the Hungarian). Now that my nutritional menu has expanded (it now includes fresh produce), trying new restaurants is something I quite enjoy.

My friend recommended Cafeteria in Chelsea. First of all, this place is open TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN. 50,000 bonus points right there. Second of all, their food is AWESOME. And the waitstaff is super friendly (and also beautiful--it's funny how you can't help thinking every NYC waiter is also an actor). And they have co-ed bathrooms (just a kind reminder: please wipe the seat if you are of the standing persuasion).



Obviously, I'm going to concentrate on the fries. First, the Truffle Parmesan Fries. Yes, for $6 dollars and a medium portion, maybe not the cheapest fries on earth. But HOLY HELL these fries are good. They are lightly crisp on the outside, with soft and delicate innards. First you bite into the crunchy, cheesy Parmesan topping, then your teeth hit the pillow of the fry, and all of a sudden a heavenly blast of truffle oil coats your tongue. The seasoning overall is perfect with a good salt factor. It's served with ketchup, which these fries honestly don't need, although it's nice to have as an option. I'm giving it a 9.5, only because I almost think the Parmesan gives the fries a slight unfair advantage (maybe that's lame to say, but this is the first time I'm reviewing fries with any kind of cheese on top, and to be perfectly honest, I don't know how to fairly compare these to all the other fries I've tasted).


 

(Bad phone pic, although I'm thankful for it. Tx Nic!)

Now onto the Sweet Potato Fries. A side of these is 5 bucks served with Garlic Aioli if ordered as a Side, but they came with my friend's burger and so didn't come with the Aioli. Regardless of this, these yummy guys were simply INCREDIBLE. Like the Truffle Fries, they have a nice gentle crisp on the outside and a soft center. But here's the crazy thing. These fries are seasoned with what I could only discern as salt. So you bite into the fry, and you taste the saltiness. And you're thinking, "Aren't these supposed to be sweet?" And then you wait a second and out of nowhere…Pow. The sweetness bops you in the head. I'm not quite sure how the hell they prepare these fries, but whatever Cafeteria is doing, it's moronically good. I still don't understand how they make them so that the sweetness hits your tongue later than you think it will. It's simply magical! It's like freaking up there with unicorns and pots of gold.

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Truffle Parmesan Fries
Price:$6.00
Portion Size: Medium
Texture: Slight crisp on outside, good delicate softness on inside
Greasiness Level: 3 out of 5 (slightly greasy). Let's be honest here. Who was paying attention to this when the fries were so good?
Seasoning:  Well seasoned with salt, parmesans, and truffle oil.
Fried in: Some sort of vegetable oil

Condiments: Ketchup. Choose your own: ketchup, mustard, pepper, salt

Overall Quality of French Fries: 9.5 out of 10

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Sweet Potato Fries
Price:$5.00
Portion Size: Medium
Texture: Slight crisp on outside, good delicate softness on inside

Greasiness Level: Let's be honest here. Who was paying attention to this when the fries were so good?
Seasoning: Well seasoned with salt. And Magic.
Fried in: Some sort of vegetable oil

Condiments: Ketchup. Usually comes with Garlic Aioli, but I didn't get a chance to try the Aioli. Choose your own: ketchup, mustard, pepper, salt

Overall Quality of French Fries: 9.5 out of 10